“Oh do I have a story to tell y'all, so one day I was expressing my admiration for president elect Donald Trump in a letter sent to one of his workers, and I took that into this here post office. Well you see, they decided to send it to Afghanistan, and if you've ever seen a bit of news, you know they don't like us. A couple days after I sent the letter I thought it was all good. I thought Donald saw it for himself, and chuckled. What actually happened was I got sent a bomb inside of an envelope, and I had to disarm it before it blew up our nursery home. I wasn't too happy to say the least. After I disarmed it I had to fight off 27 Al queda fighters with two sporks, I nearly got killed as the last one came at me with a chest bomb, but a 97 year old woman sacrificed herself for the greater good. Everything was good for nearly two weeks after. I got a new house, I was about to find the girl of my dreams, until more Al queda infiltrated my house, and kidnapped me. I am currently at the gardens of Babur in Afghanistan, and I want to go home. Donald, please send the nukes on over, I know you've been sitting on that fire button for quite some time, and I think this is your opportunity. overall I think it was a positive experience thank you for your time.”
Post Offices
“Oh do I have a story to tell y'all, so one day I was expressing my admiration for president elect Donald Trump in a letter sent to one of his workers, and I took that into this here post office. Well you see, they decided to send it to Afghanistan, and if you've ever seen a bit of news, you know they don't like us. A couple days after I sent the letter I thought it was all good. I thought Donald saw it for himself, and chuckled. What actually happened was I got sent a bomb inside of an envelope, and I had to disarm it before it blew up our nursery home. I wasn't too happy to say the least. After I disarmed it I had to fight off 27 Al queda fighters with two sporks, I nearly got killed as the last one came at me with a chest bomb, but a 97 year old woman sacrificed herself for the greater good. Everything was good for nearly two weeks after. I got a new house, I was about to find the girl of my dreams, until more Al queda infiltrated my house, and kidnapped me. I am currently at the gardens of Babur in Afghanistan, and I want to go home. Donald, please send the nukes on over, I know you've been sitting on that fire button for quite some time, and I think this is your opportunity. overall I think it was a positive experience thank you for your time.”